The more I read of "Wild at Heart", the more convinced I become that we as men are so far removed from where God wants us to be. Where is the boldness of God in us? Where is the fire for righteousness and justice? And do we even know what righteousness and justice means in this world of insubstantial truths ?

For example - is it just or righteous to feed those who refuse to work out of the pockets of those who do work? Is it just or righteous for government to take our money that is earned and dispense it to those who chose to drop out of school or chose to have sex outside of marriage and ended up pregnant? I have absolutely no problem in providing for those who truly cannot work or who truly are in physical or mental conditions that prohibit them from making a living but I have a major problem with it being government's business. I suppose there are many Christians who would say that government is the best vehicle for that assistance but I would challenge that with a simple question: What government program is there currently existant that is run in a fair and equitable fashion and without huge costs and lack of direction? Name a single government program that works as advertised.

Ah, what's the use? There is way too little testosterone in the Christian community to right any of the wrongs in our society. I don't know why I think things will change.

Wild At Heart

I am reading a book by John Eldridge called "Wild at Heart". It is a great read and provides amazing insight into the psyche of men and how they are built by God. Here is a quote from the introduction that caught my eye:

"Most messages for men ultimately fail. The reason is simple: They ignore what is deep and true to a man's heart, his real passions, and simply try to shape him up through various forms of pressure. "This is the man you ought to be. This is what a good husband/father/Christian/churchgoer ought to do." Fill in the blanks from there. He is responsible, sensitive, disciplined, faithful, diligent, dutiful, etc. Many of these are good qualities. That these messengers are well-intentioned I have no doubt. But the road to hell, as we remember, is paved with good intentions. That they are a near total failure should seem obvious by now.

"No, men need something else. They need a deeper understanding of why they long for adventures and battles and a Beauty - and why God made them just like that. And they need a deeper understanding of why women long to be fought for, to be swept up into adventure, and to be the Beauty. For that is how God made them as well."

He has another quote from Albert Schweitzer that resonated with me:

"The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives."

There have been many times that I have felt just exactly that way. A part of me has seemed to be dead and I could not figure out why that was; what caused that to happen. I'm still not sure about that but it is something I am actively working on to improve my life and how I relate and react to life.

For a long time I have been wary of "men" things at church and never really understood why. The thought of spending time with men at church in a men-only group kind of set my teeth on edge. Not that I don't like the men in church but it almost makes me feel naked to think about sharing time in any intimate manner with them. This has been true in every church I have been a part of, not just my current church.

After starting this book, I think I am beginning to get a glimpse of why I have felt like I feel. Part of that is because I know I do not fit into the typical mold of "church men". Another part of it was that I had (and still have) no huge desire to be open with others about my inner self. Too many hurts, too many disappointments, too many betrayals, too many disapprovals. I'm not willing to be as transparent as I believe one needs to be in that environment.

Perhaps we ought to examine how we do "men's church" to see if we can be more in alignment with how God has built us. Anyone interested?