I am reading a book by John Eldridge called "Wild at Heart". It is a great read and provides amazing insight into the psyche of men and how they are built by God. Here is a quote from the introduction that caught my eye:
"Most messages for men ultimately fail. The reason is simple: They ignore what is deep and true to a man's heart, his real passions, and simply try to shape him up through various forms of pressure. "This is the man you ought to be. This is what a good husband/father/Christian/churchgoer ought to do." Fill in the blanks from there. He is responsible, sensitive, disciplined, faithful, diligent, dutiful, etc. Many of these are good qualities. That these messengers are well-intentioned I have no doubt. But the road to hell, as we remember, is paved with good intentions. That they are a near total failure should seem obvious by now.
"No, men need something else. They need a deeper understanding of why they long for adventures and battles and a Beauty - and why God made them just like that. And they need a deeper understanding of why women long to be fought for, to be swept up into adventure, and to be the Beauty. For that is how God made them as well."
He has another quote from Albert Schweitzer that resonated with me:
"The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives."
There have been many times that I have felt just exactly that way. A part of me has seemed to be dead and I could not figure out why that was; what caused that to happen. I'm still not sure about that but it is something I am actively working on to improve my life and how I relate and react to life.
For a long time I have been wary of "men" things at church and never really understood why. The thought of spending time with men at church in a men-only group kind of set my teeth on edge. Not that I don't like the men in church but it almost makes me feel naked to think about sharing time in any intimate manner with them. This has been true in every church I have been a part of, not just my current church.
After starting this book, I think I am beginning to get a glimpse of why I have felt like I feel. Part of that is because I know I do not fit into the typical mold of "church men". Another part of it was that I had (and still have) no huge desire to be open with others about my inner self. Too many hurts, too many disappointments, too many betrayals, too many disapprovals. I'm not willing to be as transparent as I believe one needs to be in that environment.
Perhaps we ought to examine how we do "men's church" to see if we can be more in alignment with how God has built us. Anyone interested?
